My Wife Keeps Saying She Wants A Divorce – What do you do when your spouse wants to end the marriage but you don’t want a divorce?
I met my friend Bethany* at the mall. She looked thinner and her eyes had dark circles. After a hug, I asked about her life. Although she and her husband, Dirk, lived under the same roof, they had lived separate lives for several years. Now, almost 20 years into their marriage, she has filed for divorce.
Table of Contents
- My Wife Keeps Saying She Wants A Divorce
- What To Do When Your Spouse Asks For A Divorce
- Reasons Why Couples Divorce After 20 Years Of Marriage
- Clues That Your Wife Wants You To Be More Dominant In Bed And 9 Ways To Avoid Common Mistakes In Execution
- Signs Of A Controlling Wife And How To Deal With Her
- His Story/her Story: “my Husband Of 19 Years Wants A Divorce”
- What Does The Bible Say On The Sin Of Adultery
- Jax Taylor Says He And Brittany Cartwright Don’t Believe In Divorce
My Wife Keeps Saying She Wants A Divorce
It wasn’t that they didn’t get along. Although they quarreled bitterly during the first half of their marriage, they eventually settled into what Henry David Thoreau called “a life of quiet desperation.” Although Bethany was not satisfied, she was not ready to give up.
What To Do When Your Spouse Asks For A Divorce
For the worse,” he told me. She begged God to restore their relationship, but the more she prayed, the more it seemed her husband was committed to ending the marriage. “I feel like a failure,” she said, wiping a tear from her eye.
What do you do when your spouse announces that he wants a separation or divorce and you are not in the same position?
When Kelly’s husband had an affair, it devastated her. She didn’t want a divorce or separation from her family, but she was so hurt that she took revenge on him by having an affair of her own. When her husband found out, he immediately went to a divorce lawyer and she got exactly what she didn’t want.
A hasty reaction will do little to change your man’s mind. The best thing to do is to keep your cool and not push your spouse further away. This means I’m not begging or asking you to do it
Reasons Why Couples Divorce After 20 Years Of Marriage
To preserve the marriage. Don’t stalk or threaten to keep your children away from your spouse. Don’t talk bad about your friends, family or especially your children. No desperate clawing. And above all, don’t do things out of spite, like spend a lot or have an affair. As Kelly learned the hard way, a relationship will only do more damage and give you exactly what you don’t want — even if it seems “smart” at the time.
If you need more guidance and encouragement, we have a team of licensed professional counselors who offer a free one-time Christian consultation. They can also refer you to advisers in your area for ongoing help.
Filing for separation or divorce rarely comes out of the blue – although it can sometimes feel that way. But if you look carefully and assess the situation, you can see the signs. The best way? To ask. And then listen without interrupting, making excuses, or trying to fix things. But again, be careful when asking for information. “Becoming a detective will eventually cause your spouse to shut up instead of sharing what’s really going on,” warns licensed clinical counselor Sheri Mueller, who specializes in working with couples. “If your husband tells you he doesn’t love you anymore, just say, ‘I don’t believe it,'” says Mueller. “There’s something else going on.”
When you can express your thoughts clearly without getting emotional, ask your spouse for a time when you can share your views on your marriage. “This is not the time to argue to convince your partner that they are wrong to separate or divorce or start blaming,” says Mueller. This will only make your husband go on. Instead, say that you do not want a divorce and that you are willing to seek counseling. Then ask if your spouse would like to explore less drastic options. Mueller suggests a therapeutic breakup, which works to build another relationship, since most people don’t really want to break up the person, but the relationship as it is. This type of separation allows couples to remain in the same home and provides “space” for heads, hearts, and calmer emotions to take over, while offering steps toward hope and growth.
Clues That Your Wife Wants You To Be More Dominant In Bed And 9 Ways To Avoid Common Mistakes In Execution
Lee sat across from his advisor and tried to absorb his vision. “What do you mean?” he finally said, feeling more confused than ever.
“Your wife knows how you will react, so she deliberately angers you and manipulates it to ‘prove’ her accusation is correct.
Lee thought back to the last argument they’d had, where his wife had told him he was always angry, but then he realized he wasn’t – he just knew what buttons to push. “So what do I do?
If your spouse is looking for an excuse to get out of the marriage, a good way to do it is to make yourself the “bad guy.” Usually this will happen when your spouse pushes your button and when you respond, you will be caught. Combat this by reversing your behavior. If your spouse wants to leave because you are constantly critical, the next time they do something you would normally criticize, brush it off – react the opposite way you normally would. Don’t get caught up in the drama.
Signs Of A Controlling Wife And How To Deal With Her
One of the best things you can do is hire an objective third party to provide wisdom and guidance, such as a professional marriage counselor. If your husband is willing to go, great. But if your husband refuses, you can still go. This is the first step in ensuring you protect your physical and mental health. Instead of giving in to stress or fear, focus on things that fulfill you in life-giving ways, like working out, getting together with friends for fun, or investing in a hobby you’ve been putting off for years.
My friend Bethany was looking for a Bible study to join and also started swimming. Although she admits they didn’t take away the pain or the pain, these things helped her take better care of herself.
Making drastic changes to yourself in the hope that your husband will stick around is not a long-term solution – as my friend Mary discovered. She lived several states away from me, so I didn’t see her often, but I knew she was struggling to keep her marriage together after her husband moved out. I was glad to hear that they were reconciled. But the next time I saw her, my eyes widened. She got breast implants!
“I know,” she said with a shy expression. “He wanted them. He told me if I finished he would come back.
His Story/her Story: “my Husband Of 19 Years Wants A Divorce”
Desperation makes people give in to things they wouldn’t normally do, to ensure their spouse stays in the relationship. Don’t compromise your boundaries.
During this dark time, God can feel quiet or absent, leaving you to wonder if He cares about what you are going through. Rest assured that it does. A broken relationship also breaks his heart (see Psalm 34:18) and he is not idle. It works even when you don’t see it or understand it. He will see you through this season—even if it doesn’t turn out the way you want—because, as Psalm 46:1 tells us, “God is our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble.” When you ask God to restore your marriage, ask Him to be glorified above all. Ask Him to increase your faith in all of these. These are prayers He will always answer, for “we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Although it takes two people to make a marriage, it only takes one to break it. After doing everything you can to save your relationship, if your husband remains steadfast, let him go and continue to pray for God to work in your husband’s heart, away from you. Now is the time to focus on healing your heart. Divorce is death, so it’s okay to grieve. Even if the marriage failed, it is necessary to understand this
They are not failures. So be sorry – and know that God is not done with you yet. His plans for you are still –
What Does The Bible Say On The Sin Of Adultery
Ginger Kolbaba was an award-winning author, publisher and speaker. She was an editor for Focus on the Family magazine and a columnist for Positive Note magazine. His many books include Your Best Happily Ever After and The Old Fashioned Way.
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Jax Taylor Says He And Brittany Cartwright Don’t Believe In Divorce
Conflict in a relationship is inevitable – some people can make it work. on the other hand, others may choose to divorce. It’s the same with marriage: it can be great, but
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